Hamfist Motorsports
Follow us on Twitter:
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact

Podcast Episode 4

11/14/2014

3 Comments

 

$50,000 for a racecar and all I got was this plastic trophy

Bark M from The Truth About Cars joins us losers on Hamfist Motorsports to talk about racing in AER and David #2’s auto-x debut in Production D Ladies class.  
“Unfortunately his girlfriend didn’t bitch slap him”   “You’ve got to have a few guys who can drive acceptably well… I’m out”   “You don’t black flag Jack Baruth unless you want a fight”   “'How were the climactic conditions?’ 'What’s that even mean? It was fucking freezing, does that help?’”   "Kentucky, teeth are for life!”   "BMW, it’s got that uber old prestige so that when you get behind somebody, they just pull over”   “Fuck you in the eye while your gay dad watches”   Put your erection away, I’ve had 3 jetta’s!”   “It’s the perfect time to learn a track. at night, with shitty Jetta MK2 headlights in a tiki hut”   “They sent us a bill, with which replied to with a hearty ‘Fuck you’”   “You do realize they can’t see who you are pointing to right now, because this is a podcast”   “Have you had these chicken sandwiches, they’re delicious!”   “People are out there racing really hard, for plastic trophies”   "I’m sure Dad is sitting in the stands like, ‘my kid is a fucking idiot’”   “This is where you didn’t think about what you’re talking about”   “You have a good chance of winning a class trophy because there’s 10,000 classes”   "I apologize to all the manhood I’ve offended”   “That will make me very famous on the internet, which is important to me”   "He’s already got a pretty large e-boner so let’s just calm down”   "But he’s rich bitch, he’s a fuckin big-timer”   "I parked next to one in a grocery story parking lot just to take pictures, that’s how gay I am”   "Trackdecals.com, what is that disfigured dick on the back of your car" 

3 Comments

Podcast Episode 3

11/6/2014

1 Comment

 

That's preposterous, ridiculous, outrageous!

Automated NASCAR and the merits of putting people with IQ’s in the single digits behind steering wheels.   "He beat the Kraut out of him"    "and by big dinner, I mean open bar"    "driving fast is like sex, everyone thinks they are good at it"   "so we were driving to another fuckin state to get contraband fireworks, ‘Merica"    "I don’t think bicyclist should be allowed to use the road, so they get to eat smoke"   "Do you see the guys working at dealerships, how do you clean them?"   "I guess all the hipsters in Austin had nothing better to do this weekend"   "laser, if you’re speeding, let’s you know you’re about to get a ticket"   "Screw it, we’ll fix it when we get there. And we didn’t get there."   "Lot’s of torque and it smells good. Coming soon diesel cologne"   "Sometimes your driver gets down a lap, so you’ve got to cause a caution.. hotdog caution"   

1 Comment

Podcast Episode 2

11/1/2014

1 Comment

 

Twas the night before COTA and all through the studio...

... we actually stop Hamfisting for a moment to talk about the upcoming Formula 1 race at Circuit of the Americas.    "You have a lithp fetish"    "Not to be mistaken with that shit track in Indy."    "You can cruise up the Lexus lane anytime..."    "Paddock Club or bust bro."    "And now our special guest, Mark Webber, is here to kick David #2's ass"    "Isn't that I-talian for team?"    "Ferrari Produces 7,000 cars a year, and even better, 40 million pairs of socks"    "They spent 410 million Euro's and they suck that bad!?"    "So what attributed to your lack of success in Formula 1 Adam? The fact that you're from Huntsville Alabama?"    "Is it hood rich to pay more for your car than where you stay?"    "'Doug DeMuro lives in Philly now, so who won on that one?' 'People who don't live in Philly' "    "I live in a funeral home and I drove a Bentley"    "All the pussy comes from his personality, so none!"    "Trapped so far back in the closet with all the garments in front of me"

1 Comment

Podcast Episode 1

10/27/2014

1 Comment

 

Excuse me Miss, but these brakes cost more than your tits

"We were at Petit Le Mans and it was fantastic. The prawns served at the end of the race were the highlight..."     "Two in the front, five in the back... IF you know what I mean."     "911 GT3's are the ultimate drift car..."     "If you're a normal person, and work at Game Stop, have a neck beard, and wear cargo shorts... "     "Do they press charges? Not if you bury them!"     "The 911 says 'I'm all about me' while the Chevy Tahoe says 'babe, I work in commercial real estate and I'm ready for a family.'"     "I know for a fact that you prayed to the temple of VTEC"     "It's horrifying if you are one of the great unwashed and you go. But if you are in the Porsche tent, they've got a full open bar, bloody mary's, imported beers.... "     "Lope'in like you're in the drive through of a Dairy Queen listening to Jimmy Buffet's Greatest Hits with the rest of the Corvette owners... "     "Well this was a total failure." 

1 Comment